UPSB v3
Serious Discussion / I don't know myself
I have too much problems
-
Date: Mon, Apr 6 2009 13:54:29
I think about myself often of what I am, but I always wonder. Do i know myself?
Okay, I don't really care if you believe or not, but as some of you know, I used to be a very bad guy back in middle school days, and I realized myself being a bad guy before going back to Japan, and I decided I will be super good student in Japan.
Now Im in Japan, and I looked back at my past and realized many complicated thing about myself (No, i wasnt able to fully change myself, I actually changed in a strange way, which will be explained later).
Some of you know, but I'm an admitted inferior complex. And it's probably the reason why I did bad things back then, but anyway, The truth was this:
I have three personalities: 1) gloomy depressed me, 2) violent and easily provocative me, and 3) super happy and hyperactive version of me.
I believe I used to be 1). and to cover that up, I have 2). And then to cover THAT up, I have 3). And that was exactly what happened in US. I'm gloomy when alone, and always think of "negative" things. I'm violent where no one I know is watching. and I'm extremely hyper and happy when my friends and family is watching.
However, the problem is now. I think I have all three of these mixed up. 1) has its own philosophy, as people might call, the "pessimistic" theory. 2) also has its own philosophy, as people might call, the "delinquent" theory. 3) as well has its own philosophy, as people might call, the "optimistic" theory.
When someone talks ill of me, three things come up into my mind. 1) "Get over it, everything is my fault anyway." 2) "Fuck that, beat the shit out of them." 3) "Don't worry everything will go good". I'm so mixed up that I don't know what to do.
It might sound made up and silly for you, but I'm serious. I now absolutely don't know what my real personality is. I don't know which to choose. I don't know myself. What should I do?
Side note: When i say philosophical things, I have many contradicting theories. Some of you might have noticed. I think this is the reason. -
Date: Mon, Apr 6 2009 21:18:51
I am going to post just so you know someone read this... it really doesn't lend it sefl nicely for replies though XD but thats fine I guess.
You aren't like 3 way schizophrenic are you?
hmm I would have to say "Don't worry be happy, every thing will go good", since the other 2 personalities don't really work, I guess you could beat the shit out of yourself, or just think its your own fault for being confused, but that won't solve anything and your worse off then you started
Really I don't see much point of worrying about your personality as long as its not 2) or something of the sort. Everyone is unique and as long as your attitude isn't negative then it should be good enough personality wise. Different personalities have different pros and cons to them, but in the end I think the pros and cons balance out for any personality. So any combination of personalities should balance out as well. For me a personality is more off what color paint you want on your car idea. Its all up to the individual on which one they prefer, some people might not agree with it, but others will agree and any choice you make there will always be both sides to it. Therefore I don't think it really matters what you chose as long as you don't pick one that you are terribly unhappy with which seems to be option 2.
umm... Horray for long posts? -
Date: Mon, Apr 6 2009 22:19:54
I understand where you are coming from. I think you should remember that you are you and you don't have to choose a personality. I get depressed alot and as sort of a loner I don't always have friends to be there for me so small things started making me extremely happy. Sometimes I can feel so depressed that I have no hope left, no joy at all. But then Then something happens like a song that I like comes on the radio, and I feel like it is being played just for me. Then I can become so happy that I dance around the house with joy. So what I'm saying is you don't have to be a certain personality you should just be you.
-
Date: Tue, Apr 7 2009 02:33:21
well all three of my personalities are completely mixed up. I don't know what I am actually thinking.
-
Date: Tue, Apr 7 2009 02:41:27
uhh that's perfectly normal,
a human being is normal if he can be sad/happy/angry/ etc
its caleld having emotions. -
Date: Tue, Apr 7 2009 03:38:21
no not really.
It's not the emotion type of thing. It's like three different person is me. And all these three personalities are completely contradicting.
You are you. But me, it's like I'm three different person.
example is like:
When people say "I'm being bullied, what should i do", I always reply differently.
One time, a friend of mine asked me what he should do, and I first replied ignore them. Then after a while, I said confront them and beat the shit out of them. And I didn't change in mood. I just hand three different voices talking at me to say this and that. Then my friend was like WTF. -
Date: Tue, Apr 7 2009 04:02:44
ok then you have
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiple_personality
but i dont think ppl are conscious of their multiple personalities if they have that problem. -
Date: Tue, Apr 7 2009 05:18:14
okay, DID, i don't think im DID, but okay.
QUOTE* headaches and other body pains
* distortion or loss of subjective time
* depersonalization
* amnesia
* depression
* derealization
* flashbacks of abuse/trauma
* unexplainable phobias
* sudden anger without a justified cause
* lack of intimacy and personal connections
* frequent panic/anxiety attacks
* auditory hallunications of the personalities inside their mind
out of above, I have:
* multiple mannerisms, attitudes and beliefs that are not similar to each other
* depersonalization
* depression (somewhat)
* unexplainable phobias
* sudden anger without a justified cause
* lack of intimacy and personal connections
* frequent panic/anxiety attacks
* auditory hallunications of the personalities inside their mind
okay I actually have a lot, but this is merely symptoms, not diagnosis, and seems like I only have one of the diagnosis listed there. I'm not a professional, but I don't think i have DID. especially when i'm well aware of my three completely different personalities.
I'm rather looking for a solution so that I won't have these three contradicting personalities of mine. I only want one. But it's not easy to throw them away. I don't know how -
Date: Tue, Apr 7 2009 12:27:58QUOTE (Dark Angel-REX @ Apr 7 2009, 01:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>out of above, I have:
* multiple mannerisms, attitudes and beliefs that are not similar to each other
* depersonalization
* depression (somewhat)
* unexplainable phobias
* sudden anger without a justified cause
* lack of intimacy and personal connections
* frequent panic/anxiety attacks
* auditory hallunications of the personalities inside their mind
heh, i have like... all of those
its nothing really, possibly things r just changing for u or its just how u are, once u find stability in it or u get used to it being all over the place, things start to calm down and ur able to 1) love it or 2) fix it -
Date: Tue, Apr 7 2009 12:36:47
Me too. I'm usually the happy and idiotic type of guy, but once you piss me off just like what Chobi did, compared me to Yanos and told me I'm gonna lose to him, I went mad like hell and flamed him. But most of the time when people piss me off in things not related to PS I just ignore them and laugh it off. But when it comes to PS, I get easily irritated..idk why...I flamed lots of people because of PS but about other stuff, only few. Maybe it's because I'm too proud of myself that I'm the best here in the country or maybe the fact that I showed off to newbies before or idk I just get pissed when it comes to PS
edit:
and I just punch the floor / wall really hard if I'm mad just to calm me but it doesn't work since it doesn't hurt like it used to =/ -
Date: Wed, Apr 8 2009 16:18:22
You may have bipolar...extremely depressed one moment and then extremely happy the next.
-
Date: Wed, May 27 2009 21:16:42
if you are actually worried, i'd say that you should go talk to a family member, friend, or doctor and see what they have to say.
I don't think it's anything serious, but it would be good to see what other people who know you well think about you.