UPSB v3
Serious Discussion / in much need of help (girl)
wrong section? its serious to me =/
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Date: Thu, May 28 2009 15:48:51
upsb, how nice uve been to me in the 1.5 years ive been here, i love u all and i trust u with my life... so now i place in ur hands, one of my biggest problems so far, help me upsb
ive worked at target for 6 months, after my usual 4 months of not talking to any of my co-workers, ive just started to open up... just over a week ago i got an e-mail from facebook that some1 had added me, i checked and its some1 from work, i accept and add her on msn... 2 days later im deemed "attractive", next day im chillin at the shops with her, 2 days later we're down at the park... today however, im working, shes not, she shows up with her boyfriend to check her shifts ( the boyfriend thing isnt new to me, dont worry, she told me)... tonight i speak to her about it... i like her, i know she likes but shes with him... and i dont want to end that... but i think its getting uncertain between them because of me... its only been like 10 days and im already messing things up... but making things better? i dont know what im doing...
im hesitant on copy-pasting some conversation coz thats just stupid... but till i was around she was fully with him... now wen she came in to check her times today, she felt more in the 5 seconds she saw me than the 6 hours she was with him... i dont want her to feel rushed, i dont want her to mess things up because of me... but i dnt want to get hurt either and although im always lowest in my priorities... i cant stop doing what puts me in a good position.......... i cant just disappear and tell her its for the best... i work with her >.< and we're good friends, that wldnt help at all...
what do i do upsb?
tl;dr : i like her, she likes me, shes with him... just and im breaking them up on accident D: -
Date: Thu, May 28 2009 16:18:19
that's pretty tough.
well I would leave things be in those kinda situation. When I think about likes-love and those kinda things, I always imagine the worst scenario. When I say worst, i mean the real worst. You might get your heart literally fucked up.
Rather than getting hurt, not doing anything and letting them be is better. No one gets hurt, at least I won't be hurt as much as things that might happen. -
Date: Thu, May 28 2009 16:27:43
my advice too you----
Dont take the advice on this forum, follow your heart and do whateva you think is right.... at the end of the day, only you can decide
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Date: Thu, May 28 2009 17:11:20
Hold on im confused
Is this right:
Your straight.
Person with boyfriend is actually lesbian and likes you.
You dont know what to do?
Is that right -
Date: Thu, May 28 2009 17:35:58
Yeah. Asking help on here is not the best idea.
Anyway...
it's been 10 days. How can you be sure in anything in 10 days? Nothing, to be honest. It needs more time. And messing things up is for good, if you are sure she likes you (well, I didn't say that, if that boyfriend is aggresive
). I mean, if it is going to mess up things, it won't happend for nothing. Nothing is happening for nothing. And you know exactly what's the reason, that may cause their break-up.
What exactly are you afraid of? -
Date: Thu, May 28 2009 17:49:57QUOTE (KPS @ May 29 2009, 01:27 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>my advice too you----
Dont take the advice on this forum, follow your heart and do whateva you think is right.... at the end of the day, only you can decide
yea, there are a lot of pessimistic people here like me. don't take my advice. rofl -
Date: Thu, May 28 2009 18:15:55
If it takes her 10 days to start regretting she has a BF and fall in love with another person out of the blue- I'd watch out because even if you succeed in being her BF she could do the same for you.
I'd say approach her with caution and hesitation until you can realy be sure.
Then again- we're talking about girls here... -
Date: Thu, May 28 2009 18:30:27QUOTE (Prince @ May 28 2009, 01:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>Hold on im confused
Is this right:
Your straight.
Person with boyfriend is actually lesbian and likes you.
You dont know what to do?
Is that right
Pen Ninja is a guy...the (girl) in the topic title meant that he has a GIRL problem not that he is a girl
I say it's up to her to decide what her choice is, and whether or not she feels like you are better than her current boyfriend. However if in the end she does come to you instead of staying with her boyfriend then i personally would watch out..she could just as well go find some new guy to flaunt over. -
Date: Thu, May 28 2009 18:59:39
If her relationship with her boyfriend is so fragile that in a few days it can already be shaken by her interest in you, it probably has plenty of other issues, and their doomed to fail anyway, so I wouldn't feel responsible for breaking them up. At the same time, don't be a bad guy. Think about how you would feel if you were in his shoes, and be sensitive to his feelings, as well as hers. Bottom line is, you're not in a position to tell her to dump him and be with you, because you'll feel awful about it, and it's not a good way to start a relationship. However, if she brings it up, don't hesitate to be up front about your feelings and concerns, and if she decides to dump him, don't feel that you did anything wrong. These are always tough situations, but the most important thing is to behave in a way that won't make you think poorly of yourself.
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Date: Thu, May 28 2009 19:25:41QUOTE (yahu @ May 28 2009, 02:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>If her relationship with her boyfriend is so fragile that in a few days it can already be shaken by her interest in you, it probably has plenty of other issues, and their doomed to fail anyway, so I wouldn't feel responsible for breaking them up.
QFT.
Also, tell her that you don't want to be the cause if they break up, and see what she says. Just tell her that you don't want to mess anything up because like yahu said, it's not a good way to start a relationship. -
Date: Thu, May 28 2009 23:50:41
i would let things lie..... getting someone who you work with mad at you seems...bad
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Date: Fri, May 29 2009 05:35:49
If she breaks up, let her know it's not because of you or she's pressurized by you.
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Date: Fri, May 29 2009 07:55:57
You're acting as if you have the hard choice to make...
According to you, she has to decide whether to stay with her boyfriend or go out with you instead. That seems like a harder choice. -
Date: Fri, May 29 2009 11:06:21
just to clear up a few questions
her relationship was a little shakey to start with, she hardly sees him
i know she likes me because shes told me, straight up
im a guy -.-
10 days isnt a long time... but its apparently enough >.< its so confusing its all happened so quick
i want to leave them be, i want them to be together but i cant just take away what she feels as i want
i know its a hard decision for her... its more that its hard for me to do the right thing and not influence things any more, im asking for advice on how not to mess things up for either of us... -
Date: Sat, May 30 2009 18:30:30
well.. i suggest you take some time and think about this
guys usually tend to be impulsive when it comes to girls and about love
and i guess when u said she hardly sees him, they dont meet each other that often?
which means they dont like each other as much?
and if she told you straight up, then say you like her too (im not sure if you did or not)
then its up to her to break up with her current bf or what not
dont feel too guilty if she and her bf break up tho -
Date: Sun, May 31 2009 04:11:55
u shouldnt feel guilty if she breaks up. Its her life and she can choose to do wat she wants with it
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Date: Sun, May 31 2009 07:26:27
yeah, they dont see each other much... hes busy and she tells me last time she saw him it felt "weird"
usually ide completely back off from this situation but me n her are good friends now and for once i wanna do something for me =/
i know its her choice but i cant help feel like ive got too much influence in it D: -
Date: Sun, May 31 2009 08:17:39
do what you normally would do. stay just friends, maybe not hang out with just the two of you because you really dont want to brake up a couple so you can get the girl. if it was ment to be, than she will make the move and come to you.
and yeah, thewave is exactly right. if she does leave the guy and goes with you, it is most likely she will do the same to you. take that part into huge consideration. i learned that the hard way. -
Date: Sun, May 31 2009 14:18:23QUOTE (yahu @ May 28 2009, 02:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>At the same time, don't be a bad guy. Think about how you would feel if you were in his shoes, and be sensitive to his feelings, as well as hers.
This is probably the best advice to give. Think about this first and then continue. I mean, the guy with the short end of the stick is going to have it worse if you get the girl.
If it was me, I'd tell her that I'd like her, but I don't want to be the cause of you breaking up with your boyfriend.
Oh yeah, be careful which words you use. If you say "I am NOT the cause of you breaking up with your boyfriend," you're sounding pretty aggressive and that's going to have an adverse effect. -
Date: Mon, Jun 1 2009 10:58:45
mm yes, i told her this in the nicest way i could but shes made her decision, thanks upsb
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Date: Tue, Jun 2 2009 06:53:09
Well, don't leave us in suspense. Did she stay with him?
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Date: Tue, Jun 2 2009 11:39:46
No you dipshit...
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Date: Tue, Jun 2 2009 13:14:09
she says "ive been trying to find a way to break up with him for a week"
she also says "i dont want to hurt him though" -
Date: Sat, Jun 6 2009 19:20:00
1. Never ask thingsl ike this on UPSB
2. Grow some balls, and ask her out. -
Date: Sat, Jun 6 2009 19:46:17QUOTE (Aries @ Jun 6 2009, 03:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>2. Grow some balls, and ask her out.
what, and be a total ass in the process? -
Date: Mon, Jun 8 2009 15:17:28QUOTE (Aries @ Jun 7 2009, 03:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>2. Grow some balls, and ask her out.
and what of her current boyfriend?