UPSB v3

Off-topic / A Tale of Chaos Magic

  1. 1a5kuc49gr
    Date: Thu, Nov 12 2009 16:33:45

    Something I've been pondering for awhile.

    It's quite a family picture, the world of today. But I'm going to focus on only two entities: grandpa Europe, and his ADD-afflicted son, the United States of America. After moving to Europe 6 months ago, I've concluded several things. One happens to be that European life isn't really life. It's a sort purgatory, a no-man's land between China's anal-retentive insanity and the USAs overactive adrenal gland. The life is simply boring. This is probably why so many great scientists and philosophers were spawned from it; because there's nothing else to do. The curse of ennui has violated every soul here: human, insect, or otherwise. Search the streets as hard as you might. It's impossible to find a living person that knows what love is (but the dead is another story). Now this boredom is reflected in everything. Even in language. Being a French student here, I was quite amused to find that the language mirrored it's creators. Old-fucks with no fun in their lives. There is no word for fun in French, and the closest word to 'happy' is 'content'.

    So it's hard to imagine grandpa Europe pushing the chaotic, gut-wrenching form of the Statue of Liberty out of his swollen mangina and walking away leaving it to be raised by wolves only to return years later. So grandpa Europe returns, queefing up a storm on the way (culturally speaking, of course), and immediately falls in butt-love with his own manchild.

    Now the ugly, acne-ridden ectoplasm of a son, not knowing any form language, only has the power to look in awe at his grandpas large, ancient phallic-shaped wounds and liver spots he's attained over the years. It also happens that grandpa is a flaming homosexual with a keen interest in retarded, impractical fashion, and staying unhealthily thin (which Liberty takes quite a liking to). As young Liberty ages, he realizes the power he has over grandpa Europe, and the rest of his dysfunctional family. Soon, what was an already disturbing relationship takes on a new level of chaos. Little Liberty, holding in his gut, walks in on grandpa being raped by a fat Turkish man. Surprised and intrigued, Little Liberty blows the brains out of the fat, sweaty man. Grandpa Europe is extremely grateful, and being even more attracted to the boy now, submits himself to be his slave. But Grandpa admits that the Turkish man had already planted his seed, and soon he would give birth to thousands of scum. Little Liberty, upon hearing this, scoffs and walks away from grandpa, again, holding in his gut.

    Anyways, you guys know the rest of the story.

    The point is, I'm fucking tired of it. Life in the USA ain't all it's cracked up to be. It certainly ain't no dream. And neither is Europe. So the USA should agree to stop exporting it's coked up Hannah Montanas if Europe agrees to stop sending us their obese, slimy, perverted Turkish people.

    That's about it.

  2. Thnikk
    Date: Fri, Nov 13 2009 05:57:02

    cool story bro

  3. XYZakiメAM
    Date: Mon, Nov 16 2009 07:26:39

    Bump for return of retro.

  4. colourfulXinsanity
    Date: Mon, Nov 16 2009 08:18:45

    BUMP

  5. UEDan
    Date: Mon, Nov 16 2009 08:35:36

    Ehhh thats life for ya. Welcome back.