UPSB v3
Serious Discussion / Thoughts about parent die
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Date: Mon, Jul 7 2008 23:11:40
In the past few days while I am going to sleep I had thoughts about my parents gonna die(Especially my dad, since he is in his early-60). Its kinda hard not to think about it. I also searched up some websites that discuss the same topic but the answers don't really help. Almost all the answers from the other websites are "Be a better son/daughter", "We will all die someday" and etc. If any of you had thoughts about your parents(Or step parents) die or somehow you can stop thinking about it, post here. And if you experienced one or both of your parents dying, post here as well, and if you can get through it, tell us how.
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Date: Mon, Jul 7 2008 23:40:49
I used to think a lot about death... About my parents death, about mine and most of all about my grandparents deaths (they looked after me a lot when I was younger so they are basically like parents to me too).
Now I've just come to accept that:
Death is what gives us life, if there is no death, there is no life.
They are significantly older than I. If I were to die today I would be devastated that my life were cut so short (at 19 years), however, I know that my parents will have lived a full life and that they should be happy about this.
In time, no matter how bad I feel when it does happen, I will feel better in time. -
Date: Tue, Jul 8 2008 00:28:35
I think about this sometimes. My father is quite old (ok very old 75
) and he himselfs always mention that he only has like 2-3 years to live. It doesn't really bother me cause I just pretend he'll live atleast 20 more years. So I'll start more seriously thinking about it then. -
Date: Tue, Jul 8 2008 00:54:21
Don't worry yourself about stuff like this. Yes its very real and can happen at any moment (my moms mom died when my mom was 10...very unexpected, and my mom has terminal cancer) but stressing and worrying about it isn't going to make it not happen.
I used to worry about it a lot! thats how TEK and I got close is because he was there for me when i was going through one of the toughest parts of my life...
and go listen to the song "live like you were dying" by Tim Mcgraw! haha i love that song
and i hate to sound like a hypocrite (and i look like a douche because i cant spell) but death is probably my biggest fear.... -
Date: Tue, Jul 8 2008 01:15:21
i probably sounds like a dumb ass right now but i worry about that or something i pray and ask to make me not worry about it
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Date: Tue, Jul 8 2008 04:43:26
My grandfather died....just recently.
At first I thought I wouldn't be able to adjust but as time went by time has its own way of heeling absences. is scary, It's hard to cope up with but eventually you have to face it.
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Date: Tue, Jul 8 2008 04:56:31
I've taught about it a lot. That's mainly what drives me to be a better nicer person to my family, except my sister, shes an ass.
I've been to like 3 funerals, I've never teared in any of them. It's because I understand that death is normal and seen as a stage.
I've always wonder about this. God gives you life, then he takes it away. Kind of like giving a kid a tootsie pop and taking it away from him before he gets to the center.(maybe this applies if you die unhappily)
Anyways, I jsut want to say I would like to die after I get laid. -
Date: Tue, Jul 8 2008 04:59:18
Like Mats, i often think about my and my parents death.
I am 21 years old, and i already have to work.
There are lots of thinking in my head.
About my parents, if someone die, and it really stressed me out.
But this song really helps me every time i go down.
Beatles - Let it be
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .... -
Date: Tue, Jul 8 2008 20:17:41
Well, my father died a year ago from cancer after I was lead to believe he was out of it....I remember the day clearly since it was the same day the 2nd Lebanon war here started...oh what a wonderful day that was >.>
I try not to think about it but I honestly after my father died I'm scared shitless for my mom...I don't know what I'll do if I'll lose her too so I try not to worry about it 'cause it freaks me out. -
Date: Wed, Jul 9 2008 15:14:07
well i can't really be sure. of course i will be sad if my parents die, but is Death and being Alive the total opposite? I mean anyone can die at any moment right?
I can't get stuck about death. I have to move on. When someone dies, it's only few people of the large communities the gets held back. The community moves on. If you get stuck, you will be left behind, and you will regret it.
reality sucks. Life sucks, Shit Happens. -
Date: Wed, Jul 9 2008 15:37:54
my mother died when i was in fourth grade, and i found that the best way for me to cope with it, and stop thinking/dreaming about it is to simply make yourself as busy as possible... and your thoughts will be diverted to whatever you doing. i hope that helps you with your situation.
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Date: Wed, Jul 9 2008 20:25:49
The day of chinese new year (2008) I dreamt that my mother had a car accident and she died. In the dream I wished that it never happened, I wished that she didnt take the car, I wished I could do more for my mother. I felt so bad that I only thought about sadness and guilt. I regret a lot because I didn't thank her enough for all what she did to me, and that I didnt spent enough time with her.
When I woke up, my mother came into my room and wished me happy new year. She wispered into my ears and wished this year would be a great year for the family. I hugged her and I cried. I was very happy that nothing happened to her.
When I went to work, I still had the feeling about something might happen to her. I was worried... I called her every hour, even if she was at work. Then after work I went to my older sister and told her my bad dream. While telling it, I cried. Just thinking about it hurts me.
I do think that when a person who is close to you one sudden day die, there would be some regret, sadness, guilt and sad memories. The world or the day won't be the same without that special person. When you loose that person, then you realize what you missed many things which you haven given to the person.
We can't avoid death and we will meet new people, but we can't avoid loosing someone. Just thinking about makes me so sad...
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Date: Thu, Jul 10 2008 09:14:35
My dad had died back when I was 11, he died from a brain hemorrhage after being on dialysis for 4 years.
It was a hard time and always wonder, what will I do if I lost my mum too...
I don't really go out and I choose not to drive due to me being scared of death. =/ -
Date: Mon, Jul 28 2008 11:53:39
This scares the fuck out of me too. I'm scared that my dad might die due to his high blood sugar(but he doesn't have diabetes, thank God)or because of age or something like that. I imagined life without my dad. It would be sad, no one would make us laugh, no one would work for us, and of course, one of the most loved ones in your family will die
I just put in my mind that my dad will not die, and I always pray that he survives 20 more years, at least he sees the future, that me and my brothers & sisters are successful in life, and stuff...I keep on praying that in the next 20 yrs there will be a medicine that will make you young and a medicine that will stop aging...I hope that time will come...I just think that nothing would happen. I'm also scared if my mom dies, because she took care of me since I was a child, whenever I'm sick, she wouldn't sleep. Sometimes when my dad isn't home, even if my mom doesn't have money left, she uses everything she has just to give me medicine. Well I just think none of those happens because if my mom/dad or both of them die, I don't know what to do. I don't want to run to my older bros/ sis because they're just my half sister/bros and they might think "Dad's not around anymore, we don't need anything from you anymore, get a job and move on ok?" Something like that..but I sure do hope that doesn't happen when I need their help. Ok I'll stop talking now, I cried while making this post. -
Date: Mon, Jul 28 2008 14:51:55QUOTE (Clyde Cazeñas @ Jul 28 2008, 12:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>.I keep on praying that in the next 20 yrs there will be a medicine that will make you young and a medicine that will stop aging...
Yeah keep praying for that because if they stopped the world population from ageing it would almost certainly be the end of the human race as over-population would lead to disease, famine and war on a never before seen scale. -
Date: Mon, Jul 28 2008 17:41:43
I used to think about this and I would get sad over it, but it's inevitable and I can't do anything when it does happen. The best I can do is just live each day with my parents and be a good son to them as much as I possibly can.
Another thing I wanna note is that just because you're afraid of them dying, it shouldn't give you a reason to be a good son/daughter to them. You should be one regardless. Just my 2 cents. -
Date: Sat, Aug 2 2008 05:05:54
It starts when you're in your mum's womb and continues till as long as you're alive. The love of a parent - now, mind you. I am not saying that all parents are very responsive to their child/children's needs - but most try hard - extremely hard to make it so that their little egg will be successful in life.
They love you unconditionally and bend over backwards to make you happy.
Am I afraid that my parents will die? Well - who isn't? I was a little shit when I was younger - I broke things, threw things and gave everyone hell - but it was because of my parent's nurturing and steady disciplinary actions that I turned out to be a human being.
I'm 20 - my father is a heart patient and has had two very close calls. I wouldn't know what to do - Certainly, I would have to take charge of the family - I have two younger brothers and my mum isn't the best at speaking English, but she has a lot of heart.
As immigrants, we face a few extra hurdles that Citizens-by-birth do not face. For instance, my father's previous education and experience amount to no merit in Toronto - and we didn't ave nearly enough money for him to go back to college and get a proper "Canadian" degree. My mother finished her high-school studies back home and due to financial issues, was not able to pursue further education. They both do menial jobs, that require fastidious amounts of labour and coughs up very little pay. But hey, you have to run the family somehow. I am glad that I am old enough to work and help provide for the family. Mind you, if they had it their way - they wouldn't ask for my help. You see, they believe that it is the parents' duty to run the family and that the children grow up to be stable and healthy people.
I am terrified because if my father were to pass away, I would have to stop my post-secondary education and focus on work, because there is no way I'm letting my younger brothers fall to ruin. My mum wouldn't be able to do any better because the woman has limited qualifications, long story - short. A whole bunch of things would be fucked over. I pray that I don't sound selfish, that is not the case - I care for my family very much. My mother has infinite patience and the resilience of a lioness. How she does what she does is beyond me. And my father - stern, but warm-hearted has always given his all to look out for us - as if that were all - he's the oldest amongst his siblings, and he feels that he is directly obligated to take care of his parents who are living back home. I don't blame him, he does it out of immense respect and love. He's has a far more difficult childhood then I have.
To be frank - I don't know how I would react if my parents were to die. I'm not a fragile person, but there are some things that really stir me up.
I just want to make the old man and woman happy before they pass on, you know? They're Muslims and devout ones at that and believe in a concept of Heaven and Hell; I, however do not. I have my own belief system and it is a blend of things - I believe in re-incarnation - I hope that after they have left this life that they are born again and something wonderful and majestic. -
Date: Sun, Aug 3 2008 12:52:11
iv found that there isnt really a particular way to stop thinking about it, just try to distract yourself with other things so you dont think about it
pen spining actually seems to be a really good distraction for things like this